Welcome to the Kind & Funny Self-Expression Club

"I have one can of Lipton Brisk Iced Tea and one can of Dr. Pepper," Zach asked me. "Which one do you want?"

This was fall semester of my first year of college way back in 2002, and I wanted that Brisk Iced Tea, baby. But I also wanted a friend, and so I turned to one of my most practiced behaviors—self-effacing people pleasing.

"I'll have whatever you don't want,” I said.

I remember this like it was yesterday, because in that moment I did not get the beverage I wanted, but I did get the friend I needed.

"Well, I know you definitely want the iced tea," Zach said. "So I'm going to take the iced tea. Maybe next time you'll actually say what you want."

And with that, I was left to learn my lesson over a Dr. Pepper while we watched Kate Beckinsale and John Cusack in Serendipity. What a fortunate accident …

I tell you this story now to demonstrate that the Kind & Funny team has a long history of pleasing other people at our own expense, and we've been on a mission to break that pattern in our lives. That mission has led us to form a two-person society that is now accepting new members—The Kind & Funny Self-Expression Club.

Our Self-Expression Club might be many things (we have lots of ideas!) but at its core, it's about practicing a few tenets that helped us feel more like our true selves in 2024. They are:

• Creativity

• Authenticity

• Vulnerability

There are endless ways to practice these ways of being, and we believe that more people sharing their unique selves can help all of us grow and learn. We believe this because our amazing clients have taught us through all of the ways they bring their own self-expression to the table, and because Kel and I are constantly inspired by each other.

Want to be in the club? Just practice these things in your own way and you're in! (You can also sign up for our email list and follow us on Instagram for updates and to share your wins with us.

To get started, here are a bunch of ways we have thought of to practice each tenet. I envision these someday becoming a printed "Kind & Funny Self-Expression Deck" of beautifully designed cards that can help facilitate conversations with friends, strangers, dates, coworkers, family, neighbors, and anyone else trying to have an honest, interesting conversation. The decks don't exist yet outside of my mind, but if you like the idea please tell us and maybe they’ll get made sooner:

• Creativity

  • Who is a creative you admire? Why? How are you similar to them? What have you learned from them? What can you learn from them right now and how could it help you with something going on in your life?

  • Make a small piece of spontaneous art right now. Set a timer or guess about 2 minutes and just start. Draw, sculpt, digital, poem, concept, sing, perform, whatever. Just do it before you stop yourself or overthink it or get shy.

  • Where or when do you feel extra creative? What is an aspect of that feeling that you can recreate right now in a small dose wherever you find yourself? Can you use that practice on a regular basis?

  • Imagine you have to program the next 3 songs on the jukebox based on some kind of theme. What is the theme, and what are the songs? Any chance you can put them on right now?

  • Is there something you’ve dreamed of making if only you had the time / money / expertise / skills to pull it off? Cool!! What is it?

  • If you could make a mascot for something you love, what would it be? What would it look like? How would you build it?

• Authenticity

  • What is something you have a difference of opinion on with friends / family / coworkers / fans of a thing you like / people? What is it like, or what would you imagine it would be like, to talk to them about it?

  • What is something you have loved for as long as you can remember? Can you think back to anything even earlier? Has your experience changed over time?

  • What is something you really like now that would be tough to explain to your many-years-ago self? Try to explain it to that self out loud.

  • Is there a person you admire for their ability to be their authentic self? What do you admire about them? How are you similar to them? What have you learned from them? What can you learn from them right now and how could it help you with something going on in your life?

  • If someone hired you to give a TED Talk tomorrow, what subject would be easiest for you to deliver on such short notice? What would the title of the talk be?

• Vulnerability

  • Were you nervous about anything specific when you saw this category? If not, good for you! If yes, you’re not alone! Take a moment to reflect on the layers of self-protection you do or do not have. Don’t worry, you don’t have to share the thing if you don’t want to.

  • The Kind & Funny team likes to think of our deep vulnerabilities as the innermost layers of Matryoshka nesting dolls. Does that metaphor make sense to you, or does vulnerability make you think of a different metaphor?

  • Did a coach or teacher or authority figure ever talk to you in the past in a way you would never tolerate now? Us, too—sorry that happened to you. One thing that’s helped us is to imagine talking to them as we are today. For example: “Hey Chaz, I’m not an embarrassment to the entire town of Dedham for throwing a baseball to the wrong person. In fact, you should probably be a little embarrassed for the way you treated kids. I’m here if you ever want to apologize.” Try it if you want to.

  • Is there someone who makes you feel especially safe? What does that feel like? Why do you think that happens? Is there anything you can bring from that feeling to right now?

If you have big dreams this year, or even if you just want to stop getting stuck with the Dr. Pepper, come along on this journey with us!

Want to talk? Any ideas to add to the practices? jed@kindandfunny.com.