A Good Hang with Amy Poehler & Aubrey Plaza

In the grand scheme of human history, the celebrity podcast is a relatively new phenomenon, and I’m pretty fascinated by some of the things it can do, for better or worse.

Specifically, and for the better, listening to people with whom we have parasocial relationships honestly talk about real life difficulties as they go through them is a really interesting way to learn more about our shared humanity.

Like, I don’t know Aubrey Plaza, but I’ve watched her act in a lot of things and I generally like her even though she has no idea who I am—that’s a parasocial relationship. It’s one-sided, yes, but that doesn’t mean the experiences of my one side are meaningless. For example, Aubrey was in the film My Old Ass, a creative meditation on grief and love that very much moved me. Also, when her husband died earlier this year, I truly was very sad for her.

So, when there was a new episode of the podcast Good Hang with Aubrey talking to her real-life friend Amy Poehler about a lot of things, including how she was doing, I was definitely in.

Watching that podcast, I witnessed a very brave person (Aubrey) share a lot of real details about what grief feels like, and I watched a very good friend (Amy) show up and listen to that person, and make her laugh, and allow her to feel loved for a little while. And I learned a lot from each of them throughout that process.

It’s a tough thing to share how you’re feeling during a tough time, even with a friend. You ever tell somebody a personal detail and ask them not to tell someone else because you’re scared, or embarrassed, or you just don’t want to make a big deal out of yourself? I know I have.

And here’s Aubrey, going through something awful, and being very honest about it on camera in front of the world. I appreciate being able to see that kind of vulnerability, and to learn from it.

It’s also a tough thing to show up for friends who are going through tough times. You ever not know what to say so you don’t bring it up, or you want to try and help so bad that you try and fix it with advice or activities to take away the pain? I know I have.

And here’s Amy, showing up and listening, not trying to fix or preach or recommend anything, just focused on creating a safe space where she can connect with her friend. I appreciate being able to see that kind of energy, and to learn from it.

I understand that a lot of celebrity culture is performative, but our social media inflected world is more performative than the one I grew up in anyway, so I don’t mind if society’s most talented performers get together on a podcast that is more honest and authentic than fictional and tell us what’s actually going on with them, because I think if something can help us better see and appreciate our fellow human beings, especially in a world filled with tragic examples of dehumanizing wars and government policies, then we should be grateful for it.

So thank you Aubrey, and thank you Amy, for being willing to put your friendship on display this way. I hope it was as valuable for you as it was for me.

Need to talk? jed@kindandfunny.com. Also, Aubrey’s new movie Honey Don’t! has an all-time great opening credits sequence, and is a good spiritual successor to Kelly’s dad Michael’s movie Sleep Easy, Hutch Rimes.